Why is this happening to me?

Can this really be happening to me? Here we are just barley making it with both of us working... We are going to loose our house and car! I know, I will just get through the 4 weeks of recovery then I can go back to work. Surely we can survive 4 weeks!

At Dr for my 4 weeks checkup.. " Dr. I have to go back to work"even though I couldn't even lift my arm, I was determined. " No mam I don't think you are. Now you can began physical therapy and you are now allowed to lift a gallon of milk. Are you kidding me right now? So needless to say my recovery was about 6 months long!!
      I went into a deep depression. Sleeping more than ever, not bathing, combing my hair and any housework was out of the question. My poor husband was left with everything!!!
And to be honest, I really didn't care. All I was worried with was when is my next Percocet due! Bare with me this is hard to see this in black and white......
             I was crying out for help but no one heard me. I was in major denial. I would go places I had to go...Not really even remembering that I was there. Hurry there and hurry back. I didn't want to talk be around anyone and I could really care less what people was thinking about me. I had nothing to live for. Or so it seemed. Really mad at God for letting all this happen to me. This all went on for about one year. Then I finally got a job. but my journey was still not over. I struggled in that job. Not my responsibilities has a nurse I could do that with my eyes closed. The fact that my addiction was making me physically sick. Soon after I started that job, I went into renal failure and was facing dialysis.. One of the medications that I was on for my migraines was causing my renal function to fail. But only me and only me knew the truth. I was taking 4x the amount that I was prescribed. I really didn't think I was addicted to it because it was not a narcotic but now I know different.
If it wasn't for people at my church praying, my family and my dear husband praying, my life would have taken a different direction. They finally got my levels down and I was discharged...But the very next day when I was at home I took the medication again!! Did I not learn my lesson? What was I thinking? I was fighting a very hard addiction. I was desperate!!! But I would never have let anyone know this....Next couple of days I received a letter...............