As they lined us up and took us to video arraignment that's like going to court for your first appearance except you do it at the jail via video. When I sat down before the judge my heart was racing. He began by reading my charges and then telling me this crime is punishable by 23 years in prison. My heart sank!! What have I done? Then he went on to say Do you want a court appointed attorney or will you find your own counsel. With me just getting into trouble the month before, I had a lawyer so I waived my rights to court appointed attorney. Which was crazy on my part because I had no way to pay an attorney. But again, I wasn't thinking clearly. I was sick inside...
They led us to a room that was open in the middle and on the right side was 8 cell's downstairs and 8 cell's upstairs. We were all carrying all our worldly belongings in a small bin.....sheets, blanket, towel, washcloth, 1 roll toilet paper, small bar of white soap, 2 pieces of paper and a short pencil. And if you notice no pillow because they can be a potential threat to you. I am thinking to myself " 23 years!!!! I am going to have to be here in the block for 23 years!!! I just began to cry..That's all I could do. As they led us to our cell's they took me upstairs and placed me in a cell. E15.. I will never forget that. My bunkmate had been there for over a year so she did know the ropes. But I was scared out of my mind. I look around and all I saw was a single bed bottom and top bunk and a sink and a toilet out in the open..I was not going to survive in here. This place is awful!! So as I familiarized myself with the surroundings and made my bed I ask her, "what do we do now?" She said, nothing.." I said how long do we stay in this small cell? She said, " we are on lockdown for 24 hours then we can go to the dayroom for 4 hours to get out and stretch your legs and take a shower". Oh my goodness what in the world will I do! No TV, no computer, no phone, no nothing.. There was a small stack of books that we could read but I didn't read either..
It was time to come out of our cell's and I didn't really know how I felt about that either because I was going to be around all these other people that was there. So as I walk downstairs it was like at a football game, people were yelling, saying words I have never heard before and just, well being loud! I am thinking this is what I have to live for? I was hopeless and broken..No friends, no family and nobody. I was on a long road of destruction and then...............
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